if only i could...

if only i could...

stop being the one who only dreams
of flying high
only dreams
of my words dancing and enhancing
evolving and solving all kinds of
impossible equations,
slicing into minds but not too deeply like an abrasion

and
then i

catch a nod or two of a head,
someone saying, "that's right"
all from what i just said...
creating momentum
i am
flying
high


but if only i could

as my fears consume me
if only i could
stop the choking
sensation and hallucinations
of humiliation
then i could
fly


if only i could...

if only i could
turn my back on my lack of attack
my weakness turning into bleakness
nothing prepared to share
no shine from mine
BUT in time
if only i could...

s.m.