a thought

when i begin to learn how to stop feeling
i will then stop tearing

i wish i knew how to...

s.m.

a letter to my love...

You will be leaving in a few days, and boy is it hitting me now. I know I am good at pushing things away--sometimes in a good way, sometimes, not so good. Perhaps I was in denial this time, as I acknowledged you are leaving, but pushed the feelings away. The feelings are undeniable at this hour, however. The feelings are telling me that there may be absolutely no contact with my love for days. Although we struggle in our own ways over not seeing each other anywhere from one to five days in a row, at least we had ways to communicate, still. This time around, the phone may not work nor the letter idea as the stamps are from here--not there? Perhaps a postcard idea? But, regardless, your face and your voice will not be present during this time in which you will be away. I will not be there for you either, while you are relaxing, enjoying some stress free time, most likely wanting and wishing to share those moments with me.

I just wanted you to know that while away all day tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. I will be focussed on family, but a part of me will be on you--as it always is--wondering what you are doing, if you have eaten, if you are drinking enough water, if you are packed, if you are cleaning, and of course of how much I just love you.

I hope that you and your sister and her friend have a great time, and a very safe journey. i will pray for your safety while travelling and while you are there.

I love you M.
love,

your S.

nyc

-first trip together outside of philly
-gazing out the train window in each other's arms
-shopping and more shopping
-holding hands on strange streets
-making do with bad salsa
-know-it-all turned knows-nothing cabbies
-raindrops
-tender hugs
-meeting your friend
-meeting a korean man
-silly talk
-annoying sorority girl on the train
-more laughter
-stares and glances and touch
-keeping each other calm at the garage
-holding hands
-a dream come true again of waking up next to you
-i love you...

s.m.

"8"

at times, the day runs by us
without a moment to say hello
our lives suffocate us
without a chance to feel higher than low
but then comes the burst of energy
telling us to quickly hold on
for if we can not believe
then it will be gone
so we learn and grow
we may stumble but then fly
and by this eigth month, it goes to show
how much we connect , how hard we try
for all those times and more it seems
i wish for love to be the eternal kind
magical beyond our dreams
let us cherish these times...

`s.m.

things we accomplished...

goosebumps
intellectual book club idea
hugs
fingers through hair
a moment for us only...

s.m.

destiny...

written on 06/03/07 , 07:30pm

It is destiny
One says
To be able to savor the way
She sways
Like so
Dancing arms and toes
Ringing your mental alarm and so
In that motion
exists future devotion noted in a moment’s flicker
Lingers like the scent off a scratch-n-sniff sticker
Strong cherry, lemon line, or deep chocolate
Very tempting signs which you can not block
For it is destiny
One says
To be able to love her even before
She swam into you and across your shores
Carrying on
That song
Keeping you alive and breathing
Seeking out and not hiding
You take that leap
Forsake those who weep
In their own ignorance
Shown as righteousness
For it is destiny
One says
To be able to sacrifice for each other
Without even thinking
As much
At one point drinking in the sinking fear
Of loss and such
Tearing at the memory of her touch
But you then remember the power
Greater than any other
It will crumble your lack of faith
And build for you a path to stumble back onto for destiny’s sake…

s.m.