wonder how things got this way
perhaps if i were not gay

i would then not have to be ashamed
live the life i've lived
splitting one into two
becoming, playing the part of, hating

i do believe in a Higher Power
so how could this Higher Power of mine
have me as miserable as i've come to be

not able to be there for others
the way they would like for me to be
my love
my family
myself

there must be a reason
has to be

for how long then must i trudge on
clothed in this lie i've created
i slowly unravel
and they do say it is a 'process'
but alas, just not fast enough...

s.m.